A Philosophical Journey of Self-Discovery
University wasn’t just about textbooks and lectures for me. It was a portal to a whole new world.
University wasn’t just about textbooks and lectures for me. It was a portal to a whole new world.
Growing up in a Welsh mining village, my life had been defined by expectations and routines. Suddenly, I was exposed to philosophers who challenged everything I thought I knew about existence. It was like a seed being planted, one that took root and blossomed years later. Even now, at an age when many people retire, the question of “who am I?” continues to nag at me. Chasing success was a driving force for most of my life, but recently, that definition feels hollow. Early retirement attempts left me restless, a feeling I initially dismissed as simple “restlessness.” But as I delved deeper into philosophy, I realised this yearning wasn’t unique.
Life, for most of us, is a constant state of flux. We evolve, shed past versions of ourselves like a snake moulting its skin. Yet, sometimes we find ourselves stuck, defined by expectations or past experiences. This is where the act of defining or redefining ourselves becomes crucial. It’s a chance to break free from limitations and step into a future that aligns with who we truly are.
The freedom to choose your own path
Throughout history, great thinkers have pondered the human condition. What makes us human? What does it mean to live a “good life”? In this journey, Existentialism offers a powerful lens. Imagine life as a blank canvas. You aren’t born with a pre-determined purpose or painting already sketched out. It’s up to you — the artist — to pick up the brush and create your own masterpiece.
There’s a school of thought that believes in a predetermined destiny, a path laid out by a higher power. Existentialism rejects this notion. Instead, it champions free will — the power to choose your future through your actions and thoughts. Here are some key ideas that define Existentialism:
Freedom and Choice: It embraces the responsibility of making choices about your life, career, and even your personality.
No Inherent Meaning: Life doesn’t come with a manual. You have to decide what matters to you and create your own purpose.
Facing the Absurd: The universe might not care about your existence, but that doesn’t make your life meaningless.Despite the “absurdity” of it all, you can create meaning through your choices.
Defining Yourself Through Action: You are not defined by labels or your past. You become who you are through the choices you make and the actions you take.
Philosophical voices on the road to self-discovery
Several prominent philosophers offer insights into this journey.
Jean-Paul Sartre: He argued that existence precedes essence — we create ourselves through our choices, not the other way around. This encourages taking responsibility for our lives. We are the sum of our decisions, the paths we travel.
Simone de Beauvoir: Sartre’s partner, a leading feminist thinker, tackled similar themes. She argued that societal expectations often limit women’s potential. True self-definition, she believed, required challenging these limitations and forging your own authentic path. By uncovering your core values (honesty, kindness, creativity, etc.), you gain a compass to navigate life.
Albert Camus: This philosopher wrestled with the apparent lack of inherent meaning in existence. He called this the “absurd.” However, he didn’t advocate for despair. Instead, he proposed embracing the absurd, living authentically, and creating meaning despite an indifferent universe.
Martin Heidegger: Though not strictly an existentialist, he explored similar themes of authenticity. He argued that our “being-in-the-world” shapes who we are. This “being” involves our interactions with the world and others. By engaging authentically, we contribute to defining ourselves and shaping our purpose.
Søren Kierkegaard: Often considered the “father of existentialism,” he explored themes of anxiety, faith, and individual freedom.
Friedrich Nietzsche: Though not strictly an existentialist, his ideas on self-creation and overcoming traditional morality influenced existentialist thought.
Maurice Merleau-Ponty: He focused on the lived experience of being human and the role of the body in shaping our perception of the world.
Karl Jaspers: He emphasised individual freedom and responsibility in the face of alienation and despair.
Taking Action: Embark on Your Journey
Self-definition is a lifelong quest, not a destination. Here are some ways to begin your own journey:
Challenge Yourself: Learn a new skill, take a class, or explore a new hobby.
Seek Diverse Experiences: Travel, volunteer, or connect with people from different backgrounds.
Embrace the Unknown: Step outside your comfort zone, even if it means encountering failures. Growth is messy.
Celebrate Authenticity: Embrace the multifaceted nature of who you are. Don’t let labels limit your potential.
Remember, redefining yourself is a lifelong adventure. As Sartre might say, “choose yourself” every day. If you’re interested you should explore the works of these philosophers to delve deeper into these themes and discover how their ideas can shape your own self-discovery journey.
The Coffee Shop Conundrum
How often do we truly pause? On a slow drive from Oxford, a Buddhist nun at a service station shared the Dalai Lama’s advice: “Be Here Now.” Peace isn’t in getting somewhere faster, but in being fully present.
How a chance meeting made me think
Recently I came back from a trip to Oxford. The journey home to Snowdonia usually takes 4 hours sometimes more, sometimes 15–20 minutes less. The roads, as usual, were very busy. So many people driving, who knows where to or where from. Some maniacs weaving in and out of the traffic trying to get ahead. Trying to cut a few minutes off their journey for reasons only they know. I’m never surprised when I hear of an accident, because the standard of driving seems to me to be getting much worse. People texting whilst driving, talking on the phone and generally not paying attention to what’s around them.
I just toodled along because I was in no rush. But every time I’ve done this jourey over the past 4 years it’s the same story. People in an apparently desperate rush to be somewhere. I know. I get it, because that was me a few years ago.
But this isn’t about road safety. It’s not about an old guy ranting about the way younger people behave. It’s about presence.
I stopped at Warwick services to get a coffee. The queue was long but I was in no rush so I joined it. When I looked behind me I made eye contact with a woman who smiled. I smiled back and we struck up a conversation. We talked about how busy it was, the roads, usualy small talk. Then she asked me how I coped with it. But before I answered, I pushed the question back to her.
I did that because this was no ordinary woman. She had a shaven head and wore glasses and bright red robes. She was a Buddhist nun and she had the most radiant smile and presence I’ve seen in a long time. She told me that she just accepted it because there was nothing she personally could do, other that get angry. And that would serve no practical purpose.
I asked her about how long she had lived that life and what was involved. I’m not religious and I’m not about to shave my head, but she spoke so much sense. She told me a story about being in a monastery when a window opened and she looked up to see the visiting Dalai Lama. They exchanged words and she asked him for guidance on an issue she was wrestling with. He said 3 simple words that she initially struggled to understand. ‘Be Here Now’. She told me that she looked quizzically and he just repeated the words. Then she said ‘the penny dropped and I understood what I needed to do. I stopped worrying about te future or regretting some things in the past. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future through the actions I take.’
This is a true story and I have no reason to believe she was an imposter or that she told me a lie. Why would she?
As I continued my drive home I looked at the drivers zooming past, some texting, others speaking on the phone and I wondered how many of them were in the present. How many were worrying about something that had happened or could happen. I’ll never know. But I thanked that nun for her company and the 10 minutes we spent together made me smile and reflect on what I sometimes do. From now on I will try to ‘Be Here Now’ far more often.
The Pursuit of Purpose
Purpose is personal—found in learning, creativity, health, service, relationships, or compassion. It’s often quiet: daily kindness, steady habits, noticing what others miss.
Reflections on What Gives a Life Meaning
Don Henley, drummer with the Eagles and a multi-award-winning solo artist, once sang:
“Everybody’s got to have a purpose — some people just do not know.”
(Driving With Your Eyes Closed, 1984)
It’s a line that cuts through the noise — not preachy, just true.
We all sense that purpose matters. But finding it, living it, and staying true to it? That’s another story.
This piece is a reflection on that quiet search — how our sense of purpose shifts over time, and why it matters now more than ever.
The human experience is bound, almost from the beginning, to the search for purpose.
For many of us, that begins with career. We work to succeed, to earn, to provide. Purpose looks a lot like achievement — and that’s not a bad thing. It was certainly true for me, and for many of the people I’ve worked alongside over the years.
But something often shifts with age. Not always — but hopefully.
We start to question what it’s all for. Our motivations change. The ladder we were climbing begins to blur, and we realise we’re more interested in direction than position.
This is when refining our sense of purpose becomes necessary.
When we stop to think — really stop — we often find that beyond survival, beyond the pursuit of pleasure or status, lies a deeper yearning. For me, and perhaps for you, it’s about understanding our place in the world and contributing something of value while we’re still here.
Purpose, at its heart, is more than motivation. It’s the quiet cornerstone of a life that feels coherent and real.
This isn’t a new idea
Socrates and Aristotle both spoke of living a life of virtue, of fulfilling one’s potential.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote about authenticity and contributing to the greater good.
Wisdom, it seems, has always known what modern life so often forgets.
But defining purpose is deeply personal. For some, it’s in learning. For others, it’s in creativity, health, service, relationships, or compassion.
Purpose doesn’t always look dramatic. It might show up in daily kindness. In gentle consistency. In noticing what others rush past.
To use the over-used phrase (which nevertheless is true) It’s a journey — not a goal.
A process of self-discovery rooted in values, passions, and the quiet things that spark something inside us. And once we sense that spark, we begin to shape a life around it.
That doesn’t mean the path is straight. In my experience it rarely is. Life has a way of throwing obstacles in our way. We may get derailed. Or we may need to rethink our purpose altogether. But we should never quit.
That’s why adaptability matters — and why it’s worth checking in with ourselves from time to time.
Purpose isn’t fixed
Things change. World events, personal circumstances, relationships and goals. And purpose should change and grow as we do.
Ultimately, living with purpose isn’t just about personal fulfilment or gratification. It’s much more than that.
It allows us to give something back. Whether through creativity, kindness, or quiet influence, a life aligned with purpose leaves a ripple behind — something that outlives us. Call it a legacy of you like.
But remember one thing. The pursuit of purpose isn’t easy. It takes honesty, courage, and resilience. But it’s also the most rewarding journey I know — one that brings meaning not just to what we do, but to who we are.
Postscript
What gives your life shape right now?
What have you let go of — and what are you still moving towards?
Whatever it is, may it be yours — truly yours — and may it leave a quiet light behind.
Redefine Success
It All Begins Here
Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.
The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.
You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.
Small Steps Create Big Shifts
It All Begins Here
Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.
The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.
You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.
Turn Intention Into Action
It All Begins Here
Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.
The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.
You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.
Make Room for Growth
It All Begins Here
Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.
The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.
You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.